the real world: jonathan

Damn, I like my new layout and my new icon. It almost motivates me to start writing in this thing again.

After reading this, I'm seriously excited for next season's surreal life. Yay. =D

So the semester is finally over.

Most people have finals during the next couple of weeks, but somehow, my classes worked out where I took my last final today (yesterday, for all you technical bitches). Yeah, today was definitely a relief, not just because it was the last day of instruction, but also 'cause I got advising and officially declared my major.

Anyway, tonight was especially interesting 'cause I decided to actually get out of my little box of comfort (also known as Joe West). I tried going to some club in Sunnyvale with some people on my floor, 'cause shit -- guestlist cover charge was two dollas...! To our dismay, we ended up being late, hence bringing us back to the dorms (my broke-ass ain't spendin' no fifteen dollars on some pootie club; I could barely cough up for the two dollar charge).

Plans changed, and since I never put in any effort in taking part in the whole SJSU social scene, I ended up going to my first frat party at the DU (Delta Upsilon..?) house. And the experience was...umm...interesting? Let's just say that after going to that event, I feel blessed for having at least some sense of rhythm. I mean, I've never considered myself a remarkable-ass dancer -- but shit! The people at the party just weren't kickin' it. Hahaha... If one ever needs a self-esteem boost when it comes to dancing, head over to a frat party at SJSU.

For next year, I guess my main goal, besides doing well academically, is to be a more active part of this campus. I mean, yeah -- I do feel burned out from being over-involved during high school -- but going through the routine of study, eat, sleep, study, eat, sleep, and repeat just ain't kickin' it. If there's one thing I'm learning about myself, it's the fact that I can't fuckin' stand routine. When I go through the same shit every day, it literally feels like something's eating me up inside. Maybe I just have some psychological disorder. Or it's probably just the fact that I need attention all the time. Haha.

And since I don't like routine, I'm kind of glad that summer is coming up. The routine parts of my summer are gonna be summer school at Skyline (photography!), and working at Cold Stone again. Yeah -- I promised myself I wasn't go back to the same job that I considered so high school, but I need some cash; college expenses are a bitch! But other than work and school, I'm gonna have free time, which allows for spontaneity. So if you guys wanna do something, y'all can hollllleeeerrrrr (Audrey style).

Anyhow, I was thinking of a way to end this rant all eloquently, but that shit takes effort. So here: THE END.

It has been a while since I've updated, yes? Yes. It sucks 'cause I want to write about everything that's been happening, but I'm either (A) too lazy to write/think of detailed shit or (B) too senile to remember shit. Damn, I overuse the word "shit."

Anyway, if anyone reads Xanga's, it's pretty apparent that there have been time management / friendship issues with my close buddies: Gail, Daniel, and Eliza. I'm glad that I got the chance to talk to all of them. I don't know how they're interepreting my apologies and/or explanations, but it was a relief to know that there was at least some communication taking place.

I totally see where they're coming from, 'cause I do admit that I am getting flaky. I suck at balancing priorities. If I'm spending all my time on school and friends, I'm neglecting my family; if I'm giving my all to the relationship and school, I'm forgetting my friends, and so forth. And for all of you high school heads, do believe that shit will change after high school; it's just inevitable. However, I'm learning that just because friendships change doesn't excuse one to forget about life's priorities (i.e. school, family, friends, etc.). Life is all about change, and learning how to be patient -- how to accept and adjust to those changes -- is what living is all about...!

So Eliza, Daniel, and Gail: I'm sorry for being a flaky bitch -- but just be patient while I try to ground myself in this world of "change." I know shit is really different now. Nonetheless, remember that as much as shit is changing, shit will never be forgotten. Yes -- memories of the fob kingdom (Daniel), oatmeal letters (Gail), and to-do lists (Eliza) will never escape this cerebrum. Even though we may not share all the same inside jokes or live the same lives, I still care about you guys and I'd like to know updates on what's going on.

But on a lighter (but still significant) tone, my EDCO 004 class has actually helped me in pinpointing my major...! Donna (the career counselor) had us close our eyes and visualize where we are 10 years from now. She walked us through -- telling us to think of what time it is that we're waking up, how far we're driving to work, what kind of clothes we're wearing for the job, etc. What really struck me was the part where she asked, "Where do you see yourself walking into? What does the building look like? Is it a big corporation? Is it a hospital? Who are you working with? Students? Executives?"

This is where I felt like I was being ripped apart. One part of my brain portrayed myself in a crisp, clean, Armani business suit walking into a towering building amidst the hustle and bustle of downtown SF. I was a Marketing Communications Director working with other executives to type up flyers, organize events, constantly calling and speaking to various business executives. Another part of me imagined walking into a classroom (not sure between elementary, junior high, or high school), working in a profession that I have thought of since I was younger: teaching! This concerned and frustrated me at the same time, so I made an appointment with Donna, in hopes of clarifying this fork in the road. We talked and talked, and she told me that she really, really sees me in a fast-paced work environment with plenty of people. Next, she told me the majors she thought best fit me: Speech Communication, Advertising, Journalism, and Public Relations.

To cut this story short, I've decided on choosing Speech Communication (preparation for teaching) with a minor in Public Relations. That way, I have a diverse breadth of options after graduation: pursue my Single Subject Credential in English (Speech Comm. emphasis), work in public relations or any of the other mass communications, get a job in the business field (human resources, management, corporate training, etc.), and whatever else a Speech Comm. major/PR minor prepares me for.

And after I get all old, experienced, and insightful from working in different environments, I'll be prepared to study for a M.A. in Counseling, to be a career counselor...! So now that I'm actually deciding on a major, I'm actually starting to become motivated in this whole higher education thing.

I would go on about that whole "traditional marriage" march on 19th Ave. this past Sunday, but then that'll just fuck up the prevalence of optimism in this entry. Plus, I bet y'all are tired of hearing my shit as it is. Haha.

in my "mass media & society" class, we're required to write a paper about social issues involving media. we're allowed to pick our own topics, so i chose "reality television and societal stereotypes." i'm gonna write about reality television's role in perpetuating stereotypes, and also whether or not reality televsion portrays "reality."

my professor is requiring us to contact real sources that are directly involved with reality tv (i.e. producers, directors, camera men, former cast members). i've already contacted several cast members through e-mail (everyone on the real world / road rules blogspot), and i've even gotten a reply from lindsay rw: seattle. however, i'm having trouble finding camera men, directors and producers.

so i guess i was wondering of any of you had any ideas of who/how i should contact sources besides former cast members. do you guys have any ideas...? or perhaps, any of you personally know anyone i can contact...? anyway, it would be cool if anyone could give me some input.

so our aol got cancelled 'cause we po. hence, a new screen name!

add--> j0nathanhatesy0u (the "o"'s are zeroes)
delete--> j0nathan is here

IM me, ya bitches! i have no buddies. ;_;

ahhh, it's thursday. thursdays are my fridays 'cause i have no class tomorrow (yeah, college is cool). this week has been pretty academic. i had my first test for human biology today. wasn't as hard as i expected it to be, but i think it came easily 'cause i actually study now. i turned in my essay revision for english 1B, and turned in stupid grammar homework about the use of appositives.

oh yeah! in edco 4, my career counseling class, i got my results back from the strong interest inventory test. apparently my pesonality, skills, and interests are compatible with the following occupations:

• special education teacher
  
• corporate trainer
  
• speech pathologist
  
• travel agent
  
• lawyer
  
• school administrator
  
• flight attendant
  
• buyer
  
• high school counselor
  
• human resources director

this test was actually helpful and accurate, 'cause all of those jobs do sound pretty appealing. now it's just about assessing my work/personal values, so i can use process of elimination, and decide on a fuckin' major already.

on another note, i'm actually looking forward to tomorrow? why, you ask? 'cause tomorrow i'm fuckin' auditioning for wheel of fortune...! yeah, i guess they're gonna be doing one of those university shows, so they're gonna be at my school. i've actually been wanting to audition for a while 'cause i've watched the damn game show since i was 3 years old. anyway, i'm excited. =D

hopefully i won't be like those other moded-ass people i see on the show:
can i buy a vowel? T...!

y'know, after going to this website, i realized how much of a freak i'm not. the site consists of online, anonymous confessions and reading them is amusing and disturbing at the same time.

some examples:

613682318: I'm going into the military.
I can't wait to go to Iraq and kill lots of people.
I don't hate these people because of there religion or ethnicity. I hate them because I can kill some of them legally.
That is all.
There is no other motive behind my anger.

820724367: Yesterday I farted while just hanging out in my apartment by myself. I then felt a wet spot in my underwear and proceeded to check it out. Yup, there was definitely a dirty spot from some shit that had shot out. Even though I knew what it was, I still stuck my nose up to it and took a good inhale before putting it in the washer.

168160424: I fingered my girlfriend after I took a dump, and I didnt wash my hands before I fingered her.

She got sick later. She got better though.

We broke up and now it makes me laugh to think that I made that bitch sick with my shit hands.

i'm a bored-ass person. haha...

i heart my mom.

mom: i think you have a.d.d.: always doing drugs...!
me: no mom, i think you have a.d.d.: always divorcing dads...!
both of us: hahahaha...

we have a weird bond. X D

i honestly want to type up a meaningful entry, but i think i'm too drunk to do it. =/ =P

i love how bush targets gay marriages as a threat to the "sanctity of marriage," when there are shows like "my big, fat obnoxious fiance" and "who wants to marry a millionaire?" on major networks.

damn republicans...
(no offense ;P)

since i'm not doing my group work on foucault's panopticism, i guess i'll feed my weblogs an update.

so, the second semester is here; i'm half-way done with the first-year of my college experience (whoop-dee-fuckin'-do). i guess you can say that i'm somewhat enjoying my experience. dorming is pretty cool, just 'cause it's really convienient. i've earned myself a 3.77 GPA, which is a pretty big improvement from high school. i guess the fact that i'm paying $234798325 per unit forces me to utilize some effort. but aside from the GPA, i still have some little issues to deal with.

#1: plans for next year:
-sure, i've met a lot of people from my dorm building. but, i'm a little sad to say that the friendships i've developed aren't even comparable to my previous high school ones. i miss eliza; i miss daniel; i miss gail; i miss EVERYONE. and it kind of sucks that i've been losing touch. i don't like going to parties as the one who hasn't been around and i hate knowing that there's been a lot of "where's jonathan been?" questions floating around.
-so what should i do next year? should i get an apartment? it'll save a lot of money, BUT is there really anyone in sjsu that i'm close enough to room with? dorm in a single-room? it'll provide me with privacy, BUT i really hate the food here and it's fuckin' expensive. or should i go back home and attend a JC? it'll be cheaper and i'll have the chance of going to a UC, BUT am i copping out on an opportunity to experience something new?

#2: my fuckin' major/career plans:
-so yeah, 3.77 GPA; damn jonathan, you're smart! heh, i wish. i like english, but i can't imagine writing a novel. math is okay, but i'm not interested in calculus II. history? alright, but it kind of bores me. i ain't too into science. business would be cool, but i don't think it's gratifying enough. i don't have any damn interests! haha. it's like i like everything, but i don't love anything.
-so what should i major in? some people have been suggesting "liberal studies" or "humanities." they do sound like appealing majors, but at the same time they sound like one of those "that's-cool-but-what-the-fuck-are-you-gonna-do-with-that" kind of thangs. broadness should allow me to apply for different jobs, but will the lack of its specificity affect my chances of employment? and even so, does san jose state have a good enough reputation for me to choose that type of major? after all, god knows i'm definitely not a damn engineer. and that brings me back to not knowing my plans for next year.

decisions, decisions...

college requires too much fuckin' independence.

"if i ain't got you"
-alicia keys

the whole album is actually really nice, but this song is sweet.

so i hate those livejournal's/xanga's that are just full of stupid pictures and quiz results that don't tell you shit about your personality. then one day i looked at my xanga and i realized that my entries are becoming just as meaningless, hence bringing me to an entry of actual substance.

browsing around livejournal's and xanga's, it's kind of weird reading high school students' entries. all of their talk about school-related stress, asb drama, drinking/smoking every week, college apps., etc. reading about all of that shit makes me feel all old. but at the same time, i do like reminiscing.

i remember the homework. i remember the cutting. i remember hating being downe. i remember the asb drama. i remember the proms. i remember the shit-talking. i remember senior paint-out. ; D i remember MARDI GRAS. i remember crying. i remember laughing after i was done crying. i remember crying after i was done laughing. and then i remember that i was just trippin' 'cause i was just really drunk and high. o_O yep, i remember it all. and that especially goes for the negative points in my life.

and why do i like remembering my negative points? 'cause right now, i'm really happy. now that i've found contentment, i've learned a lot. so if you're one of the countless people going through high school drama, just know that shit does get better. i mean, if you're really at your lowest, most frustrating points in your life, there's no other way to go but up, yeah? yeah. (advice stolen from eliza)

but then again, don't listen to me because my optimism is being fueled by the $250+ i got for christmas. =P

anyhoo, merry christmas everyone. y'all (especially mardi gras) need to call me up sometime so that we can get a soccer ball..... and kick it. keekeekee. =D

p.s. eliza, remember at popsikle 5 when you were humping jerold's leg?! LOL.

'kay, i think that's enough for memories. X P

I did it in 11</big></b> seconds.
I deserved an A!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!

as of november 23rd, 2003 (yesterday), i am 18 years old. woohooo, i'm legal...! :D

i celebrated on saturday with a party, and i did have a good time. everyone i invited, including my san hoes, showed up. i tried to talk to everyone and carry memorable talks, but the effects of weed and alcohol took its toll on my conversational skills. i was pretty gone after getting lit and drinking different shit (incredible hulk, liquid cocaine, jose cuervo, "marissa's special," etc.). anyway, even though the night was kind of blurry, i did have a good time. to everyone who showed up: thanks for making my mantillion a special one. haha.

i guess it's kind of weird. i mean, i can actually buy porn, play lotto, and buy cigarettes (even though i don't smoke). i'm excited, 'cause i have so many more choices of places to go without worrying about i.d.'s. and i could go to a rave without having to be "ray martin nazario perlas"! haha...

on the downside, if i shoot someone or shoplift, it's my fault. shucks.

just to go off on a tangent, my friend burned me britney's cd and i like it! a lot. the music gives off some sexual aura. and it's not the grungy, dirrrrty sex like christina aguilera. moreso, a lot of the songs reminds me of the sex that's really slow and sensual. you know (or maybe you don't) -- the slow, smooth sex comes out gentle, but at the same time kinky enough to be executed with that indescribable feeling of passion and naughtiness that gets the juices flowin' and the hormones ragin'. not that i know how that is. ;D haha. anyway, buy the album 'cause britney's hot, the songs are sexy, and she even has a good slow song that sounds like it's directed towards justin.

so i have a speech and an activity assignment due tomorrow. it's 3:54 AM. have i started anything yet? nope. procrastination for life.

i done graduated from metro pcs and bought myself a new cell phone! i don't wanna post it up 'cause i know some people are stalkers. so, just IM me at j0nathanishere, and i'll give you my new cell number.

holllllerrrr...

godd dammit, this is why i avoid drink in the dorms.

SDFHJISORGH490W353W8ROJWE[FUFKVN.